That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
