I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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