her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
