I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
