I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
