apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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