I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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