So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
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I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
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My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.