youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I feel like death gave me a hand job
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw