just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.