Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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