Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
