Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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