is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
