I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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