I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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