I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
