Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
