Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
