Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
