Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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