We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
