We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
