Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
