I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
