Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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