Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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