it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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