just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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