with your own penis?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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