the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
