Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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