Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Swine flu is the new snow day.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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