Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
