Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize