Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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