are you still at the devil's house?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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