She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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