Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
