I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
