when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
