good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
