Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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