obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
