do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
