i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
