Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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