i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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