We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
