i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
