she was so not down for the gang bang
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you win again, gameday.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
