Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
