I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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