he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
