How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
