He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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