So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
