How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
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My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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